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Morbid Confession Monday

Monday, April 29, 2013

I titled this like I have more than one morbid confession. I don't. At least, I don't think I do. I suppose you should stay tuned. Please still be my friends, I promise I'm optimistic and lifegiving 99% of the time. Ok, 79%.

Anyway. Here it is: I used to create the next day's newspaper headlines in my head, if I found myself in a situation that is less than desirable. It started out as a funny habit, like if I was with my friends and they did something ridiculous.

Pretty Brunette and Preppy Blonde Bail Fashionable Asian Friend From Jail; Local Store Associates Say Uggs were Stuffed Full of Nail Polish

Then, it started to happen when I was freaked out. Like when I'm home alone: Husband Out of Town; Young Wife Kidnapped From Home. I will then jump out of bed and recheck the doors for the fifteenth time, just to be sure I locked them correctly.

When I'm walking to my car late at night, alone, in the dark: Young Woman Attacked In Nordstrom Parking Lot; Police Have No Suspects.

I mean, who does that!?

I try to keep myself focused on happy thoughts, since, you know... it's probably not healthy to be plotting my trials via headlining news. But lately, I try to do it for happy scenarios too: Baby Sleeps For Thirteen Hours; Family Says Mom Is Rested and Confused!

Local Woman Eats Her Body Weight In Holiday Reese's; Wakes Up 10lbs Lighter, Thanks Breastfeeding

Young Woman Breaks World Record: 36+ Hours Playing iPhone Solitaire!

Do you have any weird or embarrassing habits?

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