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Why, America?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Last night, we took a little field trip to the mall to pick up a birthday present for our friend Brad. 

Ok, and just to shop in general. It's my husband's love language, I had to. We were walking by the Yankee Candle store, and I was drawn in -- but only out of morbid curiosity. Yankee Candle Company was featuring Thanksgiving Dinner themed candles.

Now, I love fall like all the rest of America apparently does (the blogging world, especially, my goodness); I can never have too many Pumpkin Pie or Apple Cider flavored things, no matter how hard I try and how random the item is (Pumpkin Spice M&Ms? Fine. Pumpkin coffee? Ok.)

But you guys -- Turkey & Stuffing in a candle? I draw the line. I almost threw up in the middle of the store. I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but I wasn't. It was as bad as you'd think. I shook my head violently and exited the store as quickly as I'd come in. Even the associate looked sorry that she had to let me smell it.

I get the idea, I truly do. Who doesn't enjoy the smell of a fresh turkey dinner? I know I do. But the keyword here is fresh. Something about turkey flavored wax just almost ruined Fall for me. Some things are better left in their original form. Thanks a lot, Yankee.

A few hours later, we were getting frozen yogurt with friends, and I noticed Tabasco sauce on the counter, alongside of Marshmallow Cream and Chocolate Drizzle and other delicious topping options.

Tabasco Sauce.

I had to ask.

"People love it on the Euro Tarte; they say it tastes just like a jalapeno popper."

Omg, ew. I had to try it.

I grabbed a sample of original Euro Tarte, like the girl told me too, and then added a couple of drops of Tabasco sauce.

This is a very bad idea, I thought to myself.

I was right. It was an awful idea. It didn't taste like a jalapeƱo popper, it tasted like frozen yogurt and Tabasco sauce. It was utterly confusing and completely revolting. I feel like I forever ruined the idea of getting creative with frozen yogurt and toppings. Even the caramel apple frozen yogurt that I was planning on getting couldn't save me.

Yuck. What is wrong with you, America?

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