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Thursday, September 18, 2014

You know those friends that just make life easier? That would be these guys.

As I get older grow up, I become continuously more grateful for the relationships that just work. Sure, relationships take work, but I'm a firm believer that the best relationships are also glaringly natural. Personalities compliment, weaknesses are compensated for, and there's a whole lot of grace and assuming the best. If I am upset, I tell them. If they are upset, they tell me. We're so different, but we appreciate the quirks and traits that each one of us brings to the table.

Jessica is so easy going. I used to feel like she just didn't care sometimes, but I've come to realize that she has experienced a lot in her life and she's just decided to spend her energy on what is truly important. She is refreshing; the epitome of "ain't nobody got time for that". She does what she wants, she rolls with the punches. She doesn't care who rides in what car (that's me that cares about weird things like that), or if we miss our dinner reservations and have to move locations (cue hives, Jen). If she doesn't get a seat with the best view of the water fountains whilst on vacation (hehehe), she's over it in like three seconds. If she accidentally spends part of the mortgage payment on Bath & Body Works candles, it's whatever (ok, she's gotten a bit better at this). She has three kids, a husband, is a business owner and boss lady at her normal 9-5 and just AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (that = pretty much anything that is dramatic or exhausting without purpose or goal). I don't think you could offend her if you tried (trust me, I've tried. When I pointed out her poor driving skills, her response was a shrug and a "but did you die?" So. There's that.) 

I don't want to make her appear like she just doesn't care about anything. She's also the one that dropped EVERYTHING while we were on vacation in Portland over Labor Day to make sure her kids had everything they needed for their first day back to school this week. She temporarily hated me when I teased her for contemplating going vegan. She is a fiercely loyal wife and friend: if someone hurts me, she holds the grudge for me (even if it's over the silliest thing) until I tell her its ok to move on. If I have an idea, she humors me because it's clearly important in my head (even if she could care less). She's confident and comfortable in her skin and makes friends everywhere she goes (one time, she made friends with a girl at the Applebees in Idaho, because the girl was maybe a little drunk and told Jessica they could be sisters because they both were part Korean. They might even still be Facebook friends? Anyway... yeah, Jess is just that girl).

Jen is pretty much the total opposite in every way. She cares about everything, big and small: about plans, about planning, about making the people she loves happy, about the details. She wants us to be on time for dinner reservations, and if we have to move locations, she is quick to organize a Plan B. She's not one to wing it. She is a hostess, a caretaker, a leader, a mother, and someone that I would seriously hand over the keys to my life and just say: ORGANIZE ME, PLEASE.

That being said, I don't want her to appear rigid or boring. Jen brings life to whatever she touches. And she would seriously do anything for me, anytime I needed her, no questions asked. She is selfless and always all in. Her love language is quality time, and she isn't shy about letting me know this. She is also isn't shy if she disagrees with me, which I love (maybe not at the time, but in hindsight). If she feels distant from Jess and I, she takes the initiative and make plans. She doesn't wait for us to realize we're slacking... she tells us. I absolutely love this about her (so much so that it's making me a little teary to write it out). She knows what she wants, she knows what she needs, and she makes it happen.

Do you know how much I appreciate having these two total opposites in my life? I feel like I can be a perfect mixture of them both- but I probably err on the side of being a hot mess and desperately needing them both to keep me walking a straight line. I'm the codependent people pleaser, so my colors can change (which I don't like). I love that they are who they are, and they inspire me to pick a lane and stay in it.

Fight for the relationships that take some work, because God wants you to push yourself beyond where you're comfortable, but revel in the relationships that don't take much from you and that allow you to just be.

I'm grateful for many relationships like this in my life, but I felt like writing a special blog dedicated to these two in particular, because they've been there for me through some of the most intense, emotional, ridiculous and amazing parts of my life, and they've never faltered in who they are. No matter how crazy I get ;) And THAT's inspiring.

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